Saturday, February 6, 2010

things could be worse.

For some reason, I've been having a bad few weeks. Things just haven't gone my way, and I was all sad last night thinking I am a failure.

It makes me sad that no matter how hard I try in school, I'm just not the kid who makes a 4.0. School does not come as easily to me as it does to others.

My life is ridiculously busy and I feel like I'm always behind. There's always some homework assignment lurking over my head, my room is always a mess, I never have time to work out even though I desperately want to, and I don't spend as much time with my friends as I'd like.

It upsets me that I never have time to write creatively anymore. I can't exactly call myself an aspiring writer if I never write!

I get angry with myself for the little ways I screw up every day. I want to be more like Mary but I fail every single day.

People criticize me and I believe them when they say I am disappointing.

But you know what?

I'm am not a superhero, or a real life Disney princess. I am not perfect. There will always be room for improvement, somewhere. But that's the story of everyone's life. I refuse to feel badly for being human.

I made the decision to only take 12 hours this semester, and you know what? It was the right thing to do. I'm doing better than I was last semester, even though it's still a lot of work.

I lost some of my scholarships but I'm still covered by TOPS. We don't have to pay as much money as some people do.

I don't always feel like I have much to offer the world, but someday I will make a difference as a Catholic school teacher. I can write, and I can help people plan their Disney trips thanks to my obsession. I can bake, and I'm good at listening.

My job drives me crazy, but I am so lucky to have a job - especially one that is based on commission - in this job economy.

I'm trying to be a better person, especially in these weeks leading up to Easter. I'm trying to cut out swearing and eating junk, and spending less time on the Internet and more time reading books. I'm trying to get to know my Heavenly Father and my Savior better. But it's a work in progress, and I will definitely fail every day, but that's part of the growth process.

I don't see my friends all the time, but I know they're always there for me. Quality more than quantity definitely counts here. Plus, I have the best boyfriend in the world. He never criticizes or tries to change me, he just loves me the way I am. He works little miracles in my life every day.

A fellow blogger recently wrote, "Happiness is a choice." So even when it's raining and I'm feeling down, I know that "there's a great big beautiful tomorrow, shining at the end of every day."

(It wouldn't be a "Seaching for my Neverland" post without a Disney reference, duhh!)

Everyone have a magical day.



  1. Hey Suzie,
    I just wanted to let you know that I've been there(countless times). This may sound odd, but Confession helps. I find that the actual graces give a jump start to peace, hope, and joy. I think that you are awesome. Know that you are in my prayers!


  2. Hey girl! I went to confession with Father Andrew at LCCS last weekend, and it was awesome. I'll probably make it a weekly thing for Lent...I'm thinking about asking him to be my spiritual advisor. Can I do that? Anyway, thanks for the help and prayers, T. :]

  3. Hey, Susie. You and I should have coffee or something. We should hang out more, for sureeee.


Sprinkle some pixie dust. You know you wanna :]